by Kirk Woodward
[On 19
and 22 February, I posted “Perry Mason,” a two-part article by Kirk Woodward on
the mystery novels of Erle Stanley Gardner on Rick
On Theater. (Before that, Kirk
published “Four Actors,” an examination of the acting of four guest stars on
the Perry Mason TV series, posted on 30 January.) While he was composing “Perry Mason,” Kirk
collected a number of quotations he found revealing about Gardner’s ideas about
life and the law. He compiled a
representative list for ROT and I’m running it here as “Perry Mason
(Part 3).” (A longer version of this
list is posted at http://www.perrymasontvseries.com/woodward/.) I think ROTters
will find it amusing—and possibly even informative, as Gardner was, himself, a
practicing attorney and had very strong—also practical—feelings about his
profession. ~Rick]
Recently I wrote several pieces for this blog about
the Perry Mason books and television series (see “Four Actors,” 30 January, and
“Perry Mason,” 19 and 22 February). Erle Stanley Gardner, who wrote the
original books, created in Mason a formidable character, made up of equal parts
determination and skill.
Gardner himself was for years a practicing
lawyer, and one gets a feeling of the kind of lawyer he must have been from the
Perry Mason books, which contain comments on the practice of law – sometimes
rather extensive comments – and a definite attitude toward life as well.
The quotations that follow are occasionally
slightly edited. The most enjoyable way to read all of them, of
course, is to read all the books. Short of that,
here is a sampling. All the book titles begin with the words The Case of the . . . . Only the last
words of the titles are given here.
ABOUT
HIMSELF
Lucky
Legs, 1934
“I’m different. I get my business because I fight for it, and
because I fight for my clients. Nobody ever called on me to organize a
corporation, and I’ve never yet probated an estate. I haven’t drawn up over a
dozen contracts in my life, and I wouldn’t know how to go about foreclosing a mortgage.
People that come to me don’t come to me because they like the looks of my eyes,
or the way my office is furnished, or because they’ve known me at a club. They
come to me because they need me. They come to me because they want to hire me
for what I can do.”
Counterfeit
Eye, 1935
“I play a no-limit game. When I back my judgment, I back it with
everything I have. I try not to be wrong. What the hell can a man lose? He can’t
lose his life because he doesn’t own that, anyway. He only has a lease on life.
He can lose money, and money doesn’t mean one damn thing as compared with
character. All that really counts is a man’s ability to live, to get the most
out of it as he goes through it, and he gets the most kick out of it by playing
a no-limit game.”
“I hate this office routine. [I want], not necessarily a murder
case, but a good fight in front of a jury. I like dramatic murder trials, where
the prosecution explodes an unexpected bomb under me, and, while I’m whirling
through the air, I try to figure how I’m going to light on my feet when I come
down.”
Baited
Hook, 1940
“How I love a mystery, Della,” he said. “I hate routine. I hate
details. I like the thrill of matching my wits with crooks. I like to have
people lie to me and catch them in their lies. I love to listen to people talk
and wonder how much of it is true and how much of it is false. I want life,
action, shifting conditions. I like to fit facts together, bit by bit, like the
pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.”
“Regardless of what you may think, Mr. Brownley, I’m not merely a
paid gladiator fighting for those who have the funds with which to employ me. I’m
a fighter, yes, and I like to feel that I fight for those who aren’t able to
fight for themselves, but I don’t offer my services indiscriminately. I fight
to aid justice.”
“Dammit,” he said to Della Street. “One of those frosty, reserved,
human adding-machines gets under my skin worse than a dozen shysters who try
browbeating tactics.”
Mischievous
Doll, 1963
“I have always been accustomed to controlling events, within
reason. I hate like hell to find myself in a position where events are
controlling me.”
Postponed
Murder, published 1973
“When I start unraveling a mystery, I can’t seem to find a brake.
Every time I put my foot down, it hits the throttle.”
THE TRUTH
Curious
Bride, 1934
“What right have I got to sit back with that ‘holier than thou’
attitude and expect [clients] to come clean with a total stranger? They come
here when they’re in trouble. They’re worried and frightened. They come to me
for consultations. I’m a total stranger to them. They need help. Poor fools,
you can’t blame them for resorting to subterfuges.”
Sleepwalker’s
Niece, 1934
“Any time I have to depend on perjured evidence to acquit a
client, I’ll quit trying cases. If he’s innocent, we’ll get him off.”
Demure
Defendant, 1956
“Get this straight. You’re dealing with a murder case. No matter
how awkward the truth is, you can’t fabricate a situation that will meet all of
the requirements. You can’t get a falsehood that will dovetail with all of
the facts. Sooner or later all of the other facts will be known. If your story
doesn’t dovetail you’ll have to change it. If you change it under pressure the
truth will then be ten times more awkward.”
Beautiful
Beggar, 1965
“In the first place, as an officer of the court, I can’t tamper
with evidence. In the second place, I’ve always found that truth is the
strongest weapon in the arsenal of any attorney. The trouble is lawyers quite
frequently don’t know what the truth is. They get half-truths from the evidence
or from their clients and try to get by on those half-truths.”
THE LEGAL SYSTEM
Howling
Dog, 1934
“We’re a dramatic people. We’re not like the English. The English
want dignity and order. We want the dramatic and the spectacular. It’s a
national craving. We’re geared to a rapid rate of thought. We want to have
things move in a spectacular manner.”
Caretaker’s
Cat, 1935
“A lawyer isn’t like a shopkeeper who can sell his wares or not as
he chooses. He holds his talents in trust for the unfortunate.”
“That’s what I like about the practice of law – it’s an adventure.
You’re looking behind the scenes at human nature. The audience out front sees
only the carefully rehearsed poses assumed by the actors. The lawyer sees human
nature with the shutters open.”
“A lawyer has a trust to his client. He can set any fee he
pleases. If the client doesn’t pay it, the lawyer doesn’t need to take the
business; but if a client pays it, it doesn’t make any difference whether it’s
five cents or five million dollars. The lawyer should give the client
everything he has.”
Perjured
Parrot, 1939
“The prosecuting attorney has at his command all the facilities of
organized investigation. He uncovers facts. He selects only those which, in his
opinion, are significant. Once he’s come to the conclusion the defendant is
guilty, the only facts he considers significant are those which point to the
guilt of the defendant. That’s why circumstantial evidence is such a liar.
Facts themselves are meaningless. It’s only the interpretation we give those
facts which counts.”
Black-Eyed
Blonde, 1944
“A lawyer can’t afford to get too big, Della. He always has to
remember he’s a part of the machinery by which justice is dispensed. When it
comes to a matter of justice or injustice there isn’t such a thing as big or
little. Injustice is a social malignancy.”
One-Eyed
Witness, 1951
“Many people misunderstand the duty of an attorney. It’s an
attorney’s duty to see that a defendant has a fair trial. If the attorney makes
up his mind that the defendant is guilty and therefore won’t represent that
defendant, that’s asking an attorney to substitute his own prejudices, his own
judgment for the judgment of a Court and a jury.”
Amorous
Aunt, 1963
“As far as ethics are concerned, don’t overlook the fact that a
lawyer is ethically bound to protect his client. That’s the first and foremost
of all the rules of legal ethics. The people who formulate the canons of legal
ethics take it for granted that an attorney will be protecting his client, so
they lay down rules of professional conduct for the purpose of seeing the
lawyer doesn’t go too far. But the number one canon of ethics which should
dominate all the others is that an attorney should be loyal to his client and
should protect his client.”
Bigamous
Spouse, 1961
“It’s more than being loyal to your clients. It’s being loyal to
the basic principles of justice. And when you’re trying to do that, you have to
take it on the chin once in a while – or at least be ready to.”
Moth-Eaten
Mink, 1952
“I never disbelieve a client, but whenever I’m listening to a
client’s story, I’m constantly wondering how a jury is going to react to that same
story.”
“Crying Swallow” [short story], published 1971
“I’ve practiced law long enough to know that a man should never
torture clues to make them point in the direction he thinks they should go.”
CLIENTS
Careless
Cupid, 1968
“I have an idea your client is holding something back.”
Mason said, “You can say that for about ninety percent of the
clients who come to a lawyer’s office, Paul. I wonder if patients hold out on
their doctors. They come to a professional man to get help and then they almost
invariably try to color the facts.”
“Clients do strange things. There are several things you can
always depend on a client doing. A client will usually hold out some pertinent
fact, will substitute his own judgment for yours, and then make some crazy move
which affects his status without asking you about it in advance.
“Aside from that, you can’t tell what a client
will do. They’re unpredictable.”
Singing
Skirt, 1961
“I know as far as I’m concerned, I’d rather have
my hand cut off than betray the interests of a client. If I’m representing a
client, I want the representation to be honest, loyal and efficient. I make it
a point to believe everything my client tells me and to act accordingly in
order to protect the best interests of that client.”
Nervous
Accomplice, 1955
“I don’t know why it is, but it’s not once in fifty times that you’ll
find a client who tells you the entire truth. Nearly all of
them, no matter how innocent they may be and how honest they may be, will try
to sugar-coat the facts so that they become more favorable.”
Phantom
Murder, 1964
“In a murder case many things are entirely different from what
they are in other cases. When a man’s life is at stake he will do almost
anything.”
GUILT AND INNOCENCE
Caretaker’s
Cat, 1935
“Suppose he’s really guilty?”
“Then we’ll find out all about the extenuating circumstances and
either make him plead guilty and get the lightest sentence we can for him, or
else let him get some other lawyer.”
“That’s not an orthodox way of practicing law.”
“Who the hell wants to be orthodox?”
Silent
Partner, 1940
“I’ve always tried to represent clients who were innocent. I’ve
been lucky. I’ve taken chances. I’ve played hunches, and the hunches have
panned out. Circumstantial evidence can be black against a client, and I’ll see
something in his demeanor, some little mannerism, the way he answers a question
or something, which makes me believe he’s innocent. I’ll take the case, and it
will work out . . . . I do know that a lawyer can’t simply sit back and refuse
to take any case unless he thinks his client is innocent. A client is entitled
to legal representation. It takes the unanimous verdict of twelve jurors to
find a person guilty. It isn’t fair for a lawyer to turn himself into a jury,
weigh the evidence, and say, ‘No, I won’t handle your case because I think you’re
guilty.’ That would deprive an accused person of a fair trial.”
TRIAL TECHNIQUE
Curious
Bride, 1934
“It’s an axiom of criminal law that a man should try everyone
except the defendant. You know, sometimes you can try the prosecuting attorney.
Very frequently you can try the prosecuting witness. You can start digging
around, cross-examining on extraneous matters, trying to show some sort of a
motive for murder. Then, if you can get a motive before the jury, you start
showing opportunity, and if you can get motive and opportunity, you suddenly
switch the accusation and claim there’s just as much ground to suspect the
prosecuting witness as there is the defendant. [I’m simply telling you] how criminal
lawyers play the game.”
“The way to get to the bottom of a murder,” he said, “is to pick
out any pertinent fact which hasn’t been explained, and find the real
explanation of that fact.”
Howling
Dog, 1934
“There are lots of ways of trying a lawsuit. There’s the slow,
tedious way, indulged in by lawyers who haven’t any particular plan of
campaign, other than to walk into court and snarl over objections, haggle over
technicalities, and drag the facts out so interminably that no one knows just what
it’s all about. Then there’s the dramatic method of trying a lawsuit. That’s
the method I try to follow.”
“Pick some dominant emotion if you want, but touch on it only for
a few moments. Then swing your argument to something else. Then come back to it.
The human mind is like a pendulum: you can start it swinging a little at a time
and gradually come back with added force, until finally you can close in a
burst of dramatic oratory, with the jury inflamed to white rage against the
other side. But if you try to talk to a jury for as much as fifteen minutes,
and harp continually upon one line, you will find that the jurors have quit
listening to you before you finish.”
Substitute
Face, 1938
“. . . when you start fighting, never try to hit the other man where
he’s expecting the punch. And when you once start a fight, never give up
until the other man’s licked. If you can’t do it by hook, do it by crook.”
Black-Eyed
Blonde, 1944
“When I find that one theory of a case is hopeless, I squirm
around and try to find some other theory. After all, it makes a great deal of
difference how you look at a case. It’s what the lawyers call the legal theory
on which it is to be tried. . . . A lawyer needs imagination. When you come to
one legal road that’s blocked, you back up and try another.”
Empty Tin, 1941
“That is the secret of crime solution. You find the things that
are unusual, the things which vary from the normal or average, and, using them
as clues, you get away from generalities, and down to specific individual
cases.”
Drowning
Duck, 1942
“It’s a question of doing justice to a client. Once you become
convinced your client is guilty, you interpret all of the evidence in a false
light and weigh it by false standards. When you once get the correct master
pattern, every single event fits into that pattern. It dovetails with every
other event which impinges upon it. When you get a master pattern which seems
to accommodate all of the events except one, and you can’t make that event fit in, it’s pretty apt to
mean that your master pattern is wrong.”
Half-Wakened
Wife, 1945
“The theory on which you want to work is always
the theory on which the other man doesn’t want to work.”
Hesitant
Hostess, 1953
“A lawyer who does much trial work has to make snap judgments. The
clerk calls out the names of a prospective juror. That person gets up from his
seat in the courtroom, walks up to take his place in the jury box. You have an
opportunity to watch him for six or seven seconds. In those six or seven
seconds you have to reach a snap judgment as to his character, how he’s apt to
react to testimony and argument, what kind of a person he is, whether he’s
broad-minded or liberal minded, whether he’s bigoted, good-natured or
antagonistic.
Vagabond
Virgin, 1948
“Of course, you have an opportunity to supplement that first
impression by asking him a few questions, but as a rule a man has steeled
himself by the time you start questioning him so his appearance is more or less
of a mask. He’s trying to convince you that he’s intelligent and important. He
knows that he’s in the limelight and he has that natural tendency to put his
best foot forward. He’s trying to convince himself he’s something of a judge.
“The first basic principle of cross-examination is to start asking
a witness conversationally, affably and in a friendly way about some of the
minor points that the witness hasn’t thought over quite so much, and on which
he doesn’t expect cross-examination. As long as you’re friendly and affable, if
you get adverse answers it doesn’t hurt your case in the least, but if you do
uncover a weak point then you can move in on it swiftly and capitalize on the
advantage.”
Fugitive
Nurse, 1954
“Identification evidence is given the greatest weight in a court,
and it’s likely to be the poorest evidence. The person who is really trying to
be fair says, ‘I think that was the person whom I saw.’ They
riddle him with cross-examination and ridicule. Jurors dismiss his testimony.
He’s apt to be telling the truth.’
“You have to hold the interest of a jury. You can’t do it by fumbling
around with papers. Any time you make a pass at a witness and then quit and
start fumbling around with papers you make it appear that you don’t know what
you’re doing, that the witness has the best of you. You’re going to keep
throwing questions at the witness. Rapid-fire questions. You aren’t going to
pause for anything. You’re just going to keep slamming questions at him. . . .
Furthermore, you mustn’t, under any circumstances, keep going over the same
things he’s testified to in the same order. . . . Go at him from a different
angle. . . . Bore into him. Give it to him hammer and tongs. Don’t let him have
any time to think in between questions. The minute he answers one question,
fire another one at him.
“Don’t let your mind go blank. Keep throwing questions at him, any
questions. Ask him what the weather was. Ask him what kind of tires were on the
automobile. Whether they were white sidewalls or not. Ask him exactly where the
car was parked. How many feet from the corner. How many inches from the curb.
Ask him how he happened to be there. Ask him if he was walking, or ask him if
he stopped walking. If he had stopped walking to watch the girl, find out when
he stopped walking and why. How long he stood there. Ask him how he happened to
be there, where he’d been, how long he’d been there, where he was going, what
stopped him, when he started walking again. Just keep throwing questions at him
and all the time keep watching him like a hawk, using your powers of
concentration to remember everything he says and to correlate every answer,
looking for a weak spot.
“If you’re going to be a trial lawyer, you not only have to think
of all those things but in addition you’ve got to keep watching the jurors out
of the corner of your eye. You’ve got to see what impresses them and what doesn’t.
You’ve got to see when they’re getting bored, and when they’re getting bored
you’ve got to do something spectacular that will arouse their interest. You’ve
got to keep thinking about the record. You’ve got to keep watching for errors.
You’ve got to keep an eye on the court. You’ve got to frame your questions so
they’re calling for evidence that is legally admissible and not have your
questions couched in such phraseology that the other side can object and have
the objection sustained. That makes the jury feel you don’t know what you’re
doing. . . .
“You’ll get so they’re automatic. You’ll be able to stand on your
feet, throw out a steady stream of questions, and keep thinking of all those
things and half a dozen others.”
“Object to anything, just so it isn’t important. Let them get in
all the important facts whether they hurt us or not. Save your objections for
the facts we already know. Throw a little variety into the case and give him
something to think about.”
“In a preliminary never object to any questions calling for new
evidence. Only object to the form of questions so you keep the prosecutors off
balance and keep them from letting a witness have things too easy. Otherwise
let them drag in everything they want. You can never tell when something will
do some good. The more a witness says the first time he’s on the stand the more
he’s apt to contradict himself the second time he gets on the stand.”
Restless
Redhead, 1954
“A defendant in a criminal case very seldom has anything to lose
by letting the issues become confused.”
Amorous
Aunt, 1963
“Don’t object to those things [being introduced into evidence].
That’s the mark of an amateur. Let the evidence go in and then get the guy all
flustered on cross-examination.”
Queenly
Contestant, 1967
“Razzle-dazzle is not good cross-examination. The purpose of
cross-examination is to find out whether a witness is telling the truth.”
MOTIVES
Lame
Canary, 1937
“Virtually every man has enemies. Sometimes they’re business
enemies. More often they’re personal enemies, people who hate him, people who
will look down their noses and say it’s too bad when they hear he’s bumped off,
but who will be tickled to death just the same; but it takes a peculiar
psychological build-up to perpetrate a murder. A man must have a certain innate
ferocity, a certain lack of consideration, and, usually, a lack of imagination.”
“Why a lack of imagination?”
“I don’t know,” he said, “except that it’s nearly always true. I
think imaginative people sympathize with the sufferings of others because they’re
able to visualize those sufferings more keenly in their own minds. An
unimaginative person, on the other hand, can’t visualize himself in the shoes of
another. Therefore, he sees life only from his own selfish angle. Killers are
frequently cunning, but they’re rarely original. They’re selfish, and usually
determined. Of course, I’m not talking now about a murder which is the result
of some sudden overpowering emotion.”
“A solution of any crime which doesn’t account for all of the
various factors involved is no solution at all. In the long run, Della, the
essence of all successful detective work lies in reconstructing the life of the
victim. That gives motivation, and motivation makes murders.”
LIFE
Sulky
Girl, 1933
“A man can nearly always think his way out of any situation in
which he finds himself. It’s merely a paraphrase of the old saying that where
there’s a will there’s a way.”
Baited
Hook, 1940
“Whoever got anything in life by being careful? Every time you
stop to figure what the other fellow’s going to do, you unconsciously figure
what you’d do in his place. The result is that you’re not
fighting him, but yourself. You always come to a stalemate. Every time you
think of a move, you think of a perfect defense. The best fighters don’t worry
about what the other man may do. And if they keep things moving fast enough,
the other man is too busy to do much thinking.”
Lonely
Heiress, 1948
“I like to watch people around a depot. It’s fascinating. You can
see so much of human nature that way. People aren’t on their guard when they’re
dead-weary or when they’re completely removed from their usual environment. A
person who lives here in the city feels he’s on his own home ground, no matter
what part of the city he’s in, unless it’s the depot. But the minute he walks
into the depot he’s started, so to speak, on a complete change of environment
and he lets his guard down.”
Phantom
Fortune, 1964
“Make up your mind to one thing, Mrs. Warren. After water has run
downstream and over the dam, you can’t find any way on earth of getting it back
upstream and over the dam a second time. Take things as they come. Concentrate
on the present, forget the past.”
Bigamous
Spouse, 1961
“Money was made round so it can be kept in circulation. Did you
ever realize, Della, that if I take a dollar and pay it to Paul Drake, and
Drake pays it to his landlady, and the landlady pays it to the grocer, that
dollar is doing a man-sized job in the economy? Whereas, if I put the dollar in
my pocket and sit on it – “
Perjured
Parrot, 1936
“Let’s cheer up; let’s get this feeling of hopelessness completely
licked.”
