22 July 2020

'Dance Break'

by Kirk Woodward

[Well, this is something different for Rick On Theater.  If you read “Playwriting Bake-Off,” which I posted on 19 July, you know that my friend Kirk Woodward entered a playwriting contest  offered by the Summit Playhouse in New Jersey.  The contest was styled as a “bake-off” in which participants had to compose a play according to certain rules and the play had to incorporate certain “ingredients.”

[Dance Break, published below, is Kirk’s entry.  (I’ll let you look back for yourself to see the rules of the contest and Kirk’s description of his process in writing the play: http://rickontheater.blogspot.com/2020/07/playwriting-bake-off.html.)  I thought it would be interesting to see how Kirk used the ingredients list to compose his play.  Look for: a trumpet, unexpected money, a porch, a dance break, a secret, and the Devil.

[It’s a little like the literary version of a hidden-picture puzzle.]

DANCE BREAK
© 2020 Kirk Woodward

No performance of this play of any kind may be given without the written permission of the author:
Kirk Woodward
24 Kingwood Drive
Little Falls, New Jersey 07424

*  *  *  *
CHARACTERS (all adults)

EMILY (F), independent and determined

NICK (M), smooth and suave

GABEY (F), trumpet player for the band



TIME: The present.

PLACE: The wide front porch of a house. Inside, a party is going on, with a live band.

*  *  *  *
A wide front porch, a center door to the house. A party inside, and a live band – dance, not rock – is finishing a set. NICK comes onto the porch through the door, dressed for a classy, formal party.

NICK
(inhales the fresh air, looks around, calls behind him) Emily! Come on out! (No response.) Emily! I’m out on the porch! (Still nothing) Hey, Emily!

EMILY
(from inside) I’m coming! Give me a minute! (He paces with irritation.)

EMILY
(Enters) Sorry! You know I have a lot of responsibilities for this party. I’ll be in and out. It’s a big night for my aunt.

NICK
It certainly is. Having all that money drop right in her lap. Like she won the lottery.

EMILY
Things like that happen. Some people get the breaks, some people don’t. She did. I’m not jealous . . . Well, maybe a little. It is a lot of money.

NICK
See! I knew it!

EMILY
You think you know everything. You’re so smart. You have an angle about everything.

NICK
I’ve got an angle about you, that’s for sure. I love it when you’re irritated.

EMILY
You’re making fun of me.

NICK
How am I supposed to act when you ignore me? You hardly danced with me at all.

EMILY
I just didn’t feel like dancing.

NICK
In the dance break you were shaking and rocking and moving like the devil.

EMILY
The music was exciting!

NICK
Exciting? It’s a dance band! It was dull when your parents were dating!

EMILY
No such thing! I was having a good time.

         (GABEY comes out, holding her trumpet. She blows in it, clearing it.)

NICK
(to EMILY, irritated by GABEY’s presence) Come on, let’s go out on the lawn. I want to talk with you. I’ve got an idea.

EMILY
I’m staying here. The grass is wet. (Sees the trumpet player) You’re the trumpet player in the band! I didn’t realize you were a woman. You sounded great. That dance break – you were hot.

GABEY
That’s nothing. You should hear me when I really get going.

NICK
Hey! Over here! This is important.

EMILY
(Crossing to him. GABEY looks away.) Everything’s important to you.

NICK
Now listen. You wish you had some of your Aunt Emily’s money, right?

EMILY
Why do you ask?

NICK
What if you could get your hands on some of it?

EMILY
You mean steal the money? From her? Don’t you dare!

NICK
Did I say anything about stealing?

EMILY
Well, whatever it is. I wouldn’t do anything wrong to her.

NICK
How much wrong could you do her? She’s incredibly rich now. Tell me this - is she going to share it with you? The answer is no. She isn’t going to share it with you. Not a penny. She’s never shared anything with anybody.

EMILY
That’s not true and you know it. She’s taken care of me for years.

NICK
Minimally, and only when she has to. You’re telling me she’s generous? You work five and a half days a week in an office, your boss is obnoxious, and does your aunt care even a little?

EMILY
She’s not responsible for my happiness. Speaking of which, I have to keep an eye on the party.

NICK
Well, come back quick. I’ve got a proposition for you. (She reacts.) A business proposition.

EMILY
You’re out of your mind. All right, I’ll be back in a minute. (Exits.)

GABEY
Nice girl. (NICK is surprised to hear her voice.) She seems nice.

NICK
What business is it of yours?

GABEY
I just like observing people . . . and things.
  
NICK
Keep your observations to yourself. Hey . . . don’t I know you from someplace? What’s your name?

GABEY
Gabey. Yours?

NICK
Nick. I’m sure I’ve seen you someplace.

GABEY
I play in a band, you know. Maybe you’ve heard the band before.

NICK
That band? Not likely.

GABEY
You’d be surprised. We get around. Don’t think this is the only kind of music we can play.

NICK
Yeah, well, follow your dreams. I’m sure there’s a big market for swing era trumpet players . . . somewhere.

EMILY
(enters) The party’s going okay. (To GABEY) Is the band going to start again soon?

GABEY
You never know with that leader.

EMILY
My aunt’s a stickler for that sort of stuff. She’ll be waving the contract in your faces.

GABEY
Not in my face! (Goes back into the house)

NICK (to EMILY)
You through?

EMILY
What’s so important that I can’t have a little conversation?

NICK
I’ve been thinking, that’s all.

EMILY
No wonder you look stressed.

NICK
Shut up. No, I’ve been thinking about you . . . and your aunt.

EMILY
Aunt Emily? Why?

NICK
Look at it this way. You and she have the same name, right? Middle name too?

EMILY
Neither of us have middle names. Nobody in our family does. It’s part of our family history. My great grandfather hated his middle name. It was “Prosperity” or something. So he went to court and dropped it, and none of us have had a middle name since.

NICK
Fascinating. A simple yes or no would have been plenty. (She makes a face at him.) Here’s the point. What if all that money she got . . . was really intended to go to you? I said what if.

EMILY
Then I’d have it.

NICK
But you don’t.

EMILY
No, because . . . well, I just don’t, I guess. Why would all that money have been meant for me?

NICK
Why would it have been meant for her? That doesn’t make any sense. She’s a mean, spiteful person. Do you think she got the money because she was so wonderful?

EMILY
You’re saying . . . you’re saying they meant me instead of her? But the lawyers would have noticed!

NICK
Lawyers work for people. Did anybody challenge what she got?

EMILY
There must have been something in all those documents that showed the money was meant for her.

NICK
There’s not. Not precisely.

EMILY
We don’t know that, so – wait a minute. How do you know there’s not?

NICK
Because I looked.

EMILY
You what?

NICK
I looked. I happened to be in the library, and I happened to see the right papers. They were lying on the desk, or something. I couldn’t not look at them, could I? So I looked. It’s ambiguous.

EMILY
I can’t believe you went through my aunt’s private papers.

NICK
She shouldn’t have left them out! I had a funny feeling about it. I was right! I think maybe the money is supposed to go to you. I think your aunt has been stealing from you!

EMILY
(responding from a call in the house) I’ll be right there! (To NICK) Stay here. Don’t move. Not a muscle until I get back. (She exits into the house.)

GABEY
(back in view) You must be a lawyer yourself.

NICK
Huh? (Realizes) You were listening? Yeah, well, listen to this. Shut up and stay away from me or I’ll make you sorry. Really sorry.

GABEY
You mean, like apologetic?

NICK
You know what I mean. “Sorry!”

GABEY
You can’t imagine how many people have said that to me.

NICK
Here’s one that means it. Now get out of here!

GABEY
(Seeing EMILY returning) Look, she’s back. (GABEY passes EMILY as she goes back into the house.)

EMILY
(enters, to NICK) There’s all sorts of problems. We’re running out of ice, also the small plates.

NICK
Listen to you. Are you on the staff? Are you your aunt’s servant? Wouldn’t you rather be the one in charge? Have people respond to you for a change, instead of jumping like a puppet whenever she calls?

EMILY
You’re making it sound like I’m Cinderella or something. I’m not! Look at me! I’m not wearing rags, I’m wearing a really nice dress.

NICK
How often do you get to wear it? When your aunt says to! All I’m saying is, there’s an alternative.

EMILY
I don’t want to hear it. . . . (Her curiosity is too much) All right, what’s this idea of yours? Tell me.

NICK
It’s simple. You get a lawyer to sue and claim that the money was supposed to go to you. . . . You don’t get it? What’s the hard part?

EMILY
I’d never win.

NICK
“Win!” Where have you been? The idea isn’t to win. The idea is to settle! With all the money she’s got, she’ll easily be able to give you a measly ten percent or so. Enough for you to live like a queen for the rest of your life!

EMILY
It would never work.

NICK
Sure it would. It’s done all the time. Sweeten the pot. Offer a non-disclosure agreement. If you have to. They’ll be sure to take the bait. Her lawyers. Easy as pie.

EMILY
(deeply unsure) Well . . . (Fighting for time to think) I have to make sure things are okay inside.

NICK
Go ahead, Cinderella! (She glares at him and goes inside, bumping into GABEY, who’s coming back onto the porch.)

GABEY
Did you see my mouthpiece out here? My mouthpiece. You know, fits in the trumpet. I must have left it on the bench. Don’t see it.

NICK
I’ve got a funny feeling about you.

GABEY
I’ve told a joke or two in my time.

NICK
My feeling is the opposite of “ha ha.” Have you been listening in on me? Do you work for somebody?

GABEY
I work for the “Rascals of Rhythm.” Like it says on the drum.

NICK
Do yourself a favor. Clear out.

GABEY
I can’t. I’m on a gig.

NICK
Sure you are. So there’s the gig, right in there where the band is. Now go over to the band and don’t come back. Got it? Beat it, or I’ll “dance break” your legs. (GABEY goes into the house. NICK thinks hard. EMILY returns) So, did you polish all the silverware?

EMILY
Stop it! I’m not a house elf. I’m a grown woman and I choose what I want to do. And I’ve been thinking about what you said. There’s no way I can do it. It would break up the family! It would just ruin everything!

NICK
What family? You’re thinking about your aunt? You think it’ll make her meaner? She can’t be any meaner. You think it’ll upset her? She’s always upset.

EMILY
And the rest of the family!

NICK
You mean your cousin in Iowa. And Lucy’s family in Chicago. Give it up, Emily. Nobody would care. They’d probably cheer! They don’t like your aunt either.

EMILY
I just can’t do it. It would break her heart.

NICK
If she had a heart to break. Which she doesn’t.

EMILY
(Seriously upset now) I . . . I have to go inside and . . . and check. (She goes into the house. GABEY enters from a side of the porch.)

GABEY
Nice work.

NICK
(whirls around) You! I thought I told you for the last time to disappear. I’m going to make you sorry you were ever born.

GABEY
That would be a threat - if I had been born.

NICK
Huh?

GABEY
Don’t you recognize me, Nick? Come on, we’ve known each other . . . practically forever!

NICK
(Realizing) Gabey . . . Gabriel! You! I didn’t expect you to look like a woman.

GABEY
(With a French intonation) Gabrielle, Nick. Fooled you again. You’ll never get ahead of me, Nick. Never.

NICK
What are you doing here? Why here? Why now?

GABEY
You flop at predicting what I’m going to do, Nick. But you, on the other hand - you’re completely predictable. Money . . . greed . . . three temptations . . . honestly, I’d think you’d have come up with some new tricks by now.

NICK
I’ve got some up my sleeve that you’ve never dreamed of.

GABEY
Then we’ll meet them when they come. Meanwhile, I’m going to ruin this latest stunt of yours. There’s no way you’ll get Emily to do what you want.

NICK
You don’t think so? You’re wrong, Gabey baby. I’m going to beat you right now. I’ve got two words, and they’ll stop you right in your tracks. Here they are: free will. She gets to decide on her own, and she’s going to decide for me.

GABEY
Whatever she decides, you know we won’t give up. We’ll match you at every turn. The story won’t be over, no matter what she chooses. I won’t let you win – even if I have to blow this – (holds up her trumpet) to stop you.

EMILY
(appears in the doorway) You don’t have to. I’ve already made up my mind. (They’re both surprised.)

NICK
You have?

EMILY
Do you think I’m completely naïve, Nick? I don’t know if I knew you were the devil, but I certainly knew you were a devil. A devil, Nick! Tempting me! I guessed your secret, even before I heard the two of you talking at the door. And you know what, Nick, you succeeded!

GABEY
Woah! Wait a minute, Emily.

EMILY
No, you wait a minute. Nick has a great plan. It’s easy, it won’t cost me a thing. It won’t even hurt my aunt . . . much. It’s foolproof.

NICK
(to GABEY) Take that, you fat-headed conceited angel!

EMILY
Except for one thing.

NICK
What? I’ll fix it. What did I leave out?

EMILY
I couldn’t live with myself. It would be wrong, Nick, and wherever it came from, I have some kind of sense of right and wrong. Anyway there’s no way I’d do it, no matter how tempting it was.

GABEY
(to NICK, greatly relieved) What were those names you called me, again?

EMILY
So I’m afraid you’ll have to take your act someplace else, Nick. Don’t think it hasn’t been fun. I learned a lot. You taught me a lot. I’ll be more careful next time.

NICK
This is ridiculous! It’s the wrong decision. Everything’s against it!

EMILY
“Free will,” Nick. Remember?

NICK
Aaaaaagh! Damn both of you! (Rushes off)

GABEY
Not a chance. . . . Watch out! Don’t slip! That grass is wet!

(NICK obviously slips, although we don’t see it.)

GABEY
Ooooh . . . (Calls to NICK) Warned you! (NICK is gone) I’m very impressed, Emily.

EMILY
Don’t be. It was a near thing. It’s still tempting.

GABEY
It always will be. But you’ll be all right. And I’m never going to let him win – not even if I have to blow this, you know, in a big way. (Indicates the trumpet)

EMILY
You wouldn’t have, would you – just for this?

GABEY
You never know. It’s all unpredictable. But if I did – it would make for one amazing dance break!

EMILY
It certainly would.

GABEY
Say, the band’s coming back. I’ve got to get inside.

EMILY
You’re going to finish the evening? The gig?

GABEY
Sure I am. You know, with the job I have . . . (Showing the trumpet) I don’t get many chances to really blow this thing! (Goes inside.)

EMILY
(to herself) Back to the party . . . 

BLACKOUT

[Kirk Woodward studied acting with Elizabeth Dillon at the HB Studio in Manhattan.  He is a director, playwright, and actor, and a member of the New Jersey Mental Health Players.  He is musical director and performer for the Foggy Minded Boys and the Foggettes, who provide free entertainment for not-for-profit organizations.

[In addition to his article on ROT about writing plays—“How to Write a Play,” posted on 18 February 2016, Kirk’s written many pieces for this blog.  Among these are “How America Eats: Food and Eating Habits in the Plays of Suzan-Lori Parks,” 5 October 2009; “The Most Famous Thing Jean-Paul Sartre Never Said,” 9 July 2010; “Bob Dylan, Performance Artist,” 8 January 2011; “Reflections on Directing: Helping” (a four-part series), 11, 14, 17, and 20 April 2013; Some of That Jazz,” 7 June 2015; “George Abbott,” 14 October 2018; and “The Gospel of John on Stage,” 11 January 2020; among many others.]

[He’s also published The Art of Writing Reviews (Merry Press, 2009)—on which I commented on ROT on 4-14 November 2009.  His plays include both musicals and non-musical plays and he writes for adults and children.  (I directed one of Kirk’s wonderful children’s plays, Aladdin, at the Provincetown Playhouse in 1978.  I also used a performance of his musical version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow to discuss children’s theater on this blog on 25 November 2009.)  He writes mystery plays, religious dramas, and adaptations of classics.  All these are available through his website, Spiceplays (http://spiceplays.com/), which also provides synopses as well as royalty and ordering information.]

No comments:

Post a Comment